Bearded Theory 2025

A day school at an alternative rock festival in the midlands. I’m not sure this is what the progenitors of punk, such as Iggy Pop who was in attendance on Saturday, had in mind 48 years ago as the subversive genre was being birthed. But here we are, dropping our 6 year olds off to learn math, science and football in a sheep field while I go watch The Vaselines blast OG guitar punk favourites. I don’t care if this is what the Ramones had in mind, I LOVE IT.

Bearded Theory, a mid size festival in Staffordshire you may not have heard of. So let’s start with the lineup. Mr Pop headlined Saturday, his current lineup featuring guitar duties from Nick Zinner of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Watching Zinner axe that iconic catalog made me cry a little while screaming “now I wanna be your DOG”. Friday’s top spot featured Paul Heaton, his cool tenor as sumptuous as ever. This was my first time catching the Beautiful South songsmith and I’m so glad I did. Those Housemartins tunes have proven timeless. As Mr Heaton wrapped his set, the crowd marched down the dirt path to catch Sisters of Mercy on the Meadow. What a contrast of musical mastery.

Enough of the large font acts, the rest of the fest was where I found magic. Up and down the lineup over the 3 stages and 5 small tents lie so many gems, both undiscovered and somewhat forgotten. As for the latter: my 14 year old self sobbed while watching Kristen Hersh croon Throwing Muses soundscapes. All generations sang along to Japanese girl punk Shonen Knife, a band Kurt Cobain once claimed as his favourite. On Saturday afternoon we threw the kids onto our shoulders and squirmed into the pit for The Lovely Eggs, northern England’s beloved experimental punk band the headliner Iggy once called his favourite. So yeah, artists favorite artists were all over the place. As for new discoveries, I can’t believe I had never encountered comedic hardcore outfit Raised by Owls, but I’ll make a point to catch their rip-roaring show wherever I can. Indie outfit Divorce apparated onto the main stage on Sunday afternoon then blew me away with their passionate yet subtle performance. Behind the main stage the Woodland Area inhabits a small enclave with folky and worldly music, curated by festival stalwart Beans on Toast. His taste is fantastic.

So yeah, Bearded Theory provides a unique lineup in a compact package that’s easy to navigate and catch a bit of it all (even though I missed what was supposedly an absolute incredible time at Sugar Hill Gang Saturday night.) But let’s talk more about the school and family offerings. Many festivals on the calendar categorise themselves as “family friendly”, but no one pulls that off the same way as Bearded. First of all, the main kids field lies at the top of the Pallet field, which means you can watch the acts while the little ones play safely behind you. This is in sharp contrast to other festivals where family fields are so far away from the music offerings it feels like a different event. But most strikingly, Bearded Theory HAS A SCHOOL ON SITE. What? How? Who are these rock n roll saints? We interviewed the creator of the school, Sally, to tell us more.

The Bearded Theory school began in 2015. Sally, an accredited teacher, didn’t think parents should be fined for taking their children out of school for a day to attend a music festival. So she recruited a staff and got Ofsted accreditation to run a day school on site. Now, 10 years later, they’ve got spots for 200 kids, 43 staff members, 5 of which give one on one tuition to STEM children. The kids group up by age and spend the morning working in 30 minute sets on math, phonics, and science. Ours loved the games they played in the Year 1/2 group. Then after their packed lunches it’s sports time. One year Mr Motivator led the PE lesson, another year it was the Burton Albion FC. What a wonderful, unique experience for the children! It’s a great thing for your family to participate in, not just because it gives you a chance to watch the Vaselines.

More on the accreditation. Because the school is Ofsted registered, once you’ve booked your spot the Bearded Theory school sends you a letter to give to your school, so that you will not have an unauthorised absence or be fined. It’s so successful Sally has been approached by Glastonbury to run her school there. That would be a lot of work for the organisers and would require scaling up, so she’s keeping it at BT. Many parents who are also involved in childcare have offered to volunteer, that’s how wonderful it is to be a part of.

The crowds at Bearded Theory are friendly and fun, in the two years I’ve been I’ve yet to experience any aggressive or negative behaviour. It’s an older demographic, our campsite neighbour was an OG punk who takes his grandkids for the weekend, and this means you don’t get any “influencer” types. The crowd isn’t taking instagram pictures, they’re dancing or relaxing.

I give Bearded Theory a solid 9 out of 10. I go to a lot of festivals, and this one is at this point in my life, my favourite.